Kappa Kappa Gamma, Alphi Chi Omega, Delta Delta Delta, Zeta Tau Alpha... don't belong to any Greek letters? How about ΓΔI? Chances are you've felt left out from a sorority (or fraternity, for you guys out there reading), maybe it's the feeling of being unwanted from an "elite" group on campus or just missing out on raging parties that you hear about the next day. You're not alone!!

I am a non-Greek student at Southern Methodist University. It is very heavily influenced by Greek life. A non-Greek student is often referred to as a GDI (God Damn Independent); it used to be a derogatory term but I feel it's transitioned to being an easier way to identify on campus. From my freshman to now senior year, I've had some form of social anxiety about attending a sorority or fraternity party but over the years it has gotten easier to be comfortable without being associated with any letters. I'll give you the top three things that helped me deal with the uneasy feelings of being a GDI:

Invite or Not, Here I Come

You should have no shame in attending a party you weren't "formally" invited to. Odds are that more than half of the students that plan on going found out about the party through a mass group text (how personal) or through a friend, of a friend, of a friend who happens to knows one person there. Step out of your comfort zone and meet new people. Chances are that you won't know anyone there and they won't know you either. That's the beauty of attending university... it's just a bunch of strangers trying to find their way in life (and get drunk together for four years). 

Have a Ready Answer for "Why?" 

The first question you'll be asked after giving your name to someone is "Which sorority (or fraternity) are you in?" You'll tell them you're not in one and by some wild and absurd reason they may not understand or compute the word "no". They will ask why, be prepared! Create a standard answer so you don't have to explain your situation to every person who walks in your path. My answer: "I just wasn't interested in rushing." Then move the conversation along to what their major is and what year they are. Finally, questions you can answer without feeling left out!

Not Invited to a Formal? Not a Problem

Find friends in groups outside of Greek life: your campus will have different clubs ranging from community/volunteer events, athletic events, rec teams or even your city's sports team (go Stars!), or even pick up friends in your classes or small groups from church. Meeting new people will help you stay busy during weekends when you won't be able to crash fraternity parties due to formals or away-weekends. Keep in touch and stay connected with people you meet; it should be fairly easy due to social media - follow them on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (social events can be posted here). The easiest way to make someone your friend is to talk to them and spend time with them! I met my  best friend and partner-in-crime (hey Ellery) through mutual friend of ours who had already graduated. Ellery is also a non-Greek and we both have had a great college experience so far.

I struggled with not being part of a sorority my second year at SMU. It was difficult for me to just invite myself to something because I was always so used to being called on by my friends to go somewhere with them or making the initial plans. But college is a different environment and I knew it was time for me to adapt. Over time, I quickly created a friend base that I could always talk to about going to fraternity and sorority parties, social events, concerts and Sunday brunches with. Now, in my senior year, I found friends outside of uni that are my go-tos. I couldn't imagine not spending every weekend with these people. From hockey games and parties to watching movies with seven people piled in one bed, they are my foundation. It does get easier, just remember to stay positive, make friends and always be the best version of yourself (even if the tequila does take over).

xo, kristina